Goodnight and goodbye

Many people say its good, in fact healthy to cry, me being the person I am, have made a habit of this in my short but stressful life.

Every night I cry over you I promise myself it will be the last. For some reason it seems more comforting to cry at night although that in itself might be an oxymoron because it is never comforting to cry over you. Everytime I cry till my chest hurts, till my eyes sting, till 4 in the morning, I cry myself a minute from death. Why you ask? Because every single fucking time I promise myself that this will be the last time I will cry over you! Because every night this happens I promise myself tomorrow will be a better day and that even if I die trying I will rip you out of my soul, every last bit of you. And then tomorrow comes and it is not in fact a better day. Once again I have made myself a promise I cannot and will not keep.

It is just today, another day without you, another day that you don’t realize how fucked up I am over you. Another day that I wish I could sleep away.