Sometimes I feel so useless…

Where do I start? Oh man, I think this is gonna be a hard one.

You know when I was in grade school and we had assignments to write about our heroes I always chose my brother. And I don’t mean any offence, he’s a great guy. But while I was doing that everyone else was writing about how great their mothers or fathers were. The thing is I should have been doing that as well. I was blind, I didn’t see it, I didn’t see how great she is!

Yeah you didn’t expect to be reading about my mother right? Well she’s amazing and sometimes I wonder how she’s not ashamed to have us as her children.

We were having dinner a few nights ago and I was complaining cause I didn’t like what she cooked. Then she started talking you know, blah-blah, blah! No! She made me cry, and not because she was giving me a hard time but because I take everything for granted, I take her for granted. News huh?

So the story started when she was younger and she lived at home in Mexico, in a very small town, in a very small house, with a very large family. She said there was a very dry spell on the lands and no crops were growing and no one had jobs and there was no food. No food! Can you imagine, no food. Not that I’m obsessed with food, but I mean there’s always something. At least at home there is always something even if I complain about it there is always something. She said she had to go out and knock on peoples doors and ask for food. And then I just couldn’t sit there any more. Not without crying. And suddenly everything bad in this world didn’t exist because I had the most beautiful being sitting right in front of me. That day they had food on their table thanks to her.

There’s so many other stories she’s told me. So much humbleness I sometimes wonder if its possible that I am her daughter. One would think things like that run in the family but never will I meet anyone like her. Not as unconditional as her.

She's lived a not so great life, and for that I feel guilty. I know i didnt cause it. Many people tell me its not my responsibility. But she’s my mother! I’ve asked myself on many occasions has she been loved enough? Has she been happy enough? Have we made her proud? I don’t want her to die and feel like her life was incomplete. I don’t want to loose her and feel that I didn’t do all I could to make her happy.

If we all had mothers like mine this world would be a GREAT place! This world would be full of children with full stomachs and clean clothes and a nice clean bed to sleep in and a home with love!

Its not the greatest piece, in fact its a poor excuse of an essay, but it’s a start!

I want to take her to the ocean, a clean one, not the poor excuse of an ocean like venice or santa monica.

Its never too late to make beautiful memories!