Poopie world

You can poop on the world and then you can call it poopie world!
-Daniel (age 5)

Where did all the innocence go?

I’ve kind of spoken about this a little big before. I hate watching the news, it’s extremely depressing. I tend to over think every single thing that I hear, see, or anything that happens to me. Its who I am, its why I’m a slave to the details. So the news tend bother me a lot more than the average person.

I don’t like watching the news! However, my mom makes sure I know how many murders occurred in the LA area the previous day, because of course she does watch news. I’ve told her on several occasions I don’t like her telling me about such tragic events, they depress me and sadden me terribly.

Saturday morning she mentioned a man was shot and almost killed on the freeway. When I say almost I mean pretty much killed him, he’s in a coma in the hospital with no chance of recovery. Then on Sunday she tells me this man is a friend of my brothers, he has no one, not one single family member in the US. They are all in Mexico and he is dying. No one should die alone, no matter what kind of person you were when you were alive. No one should die alone!

I wonder what kind of life he lead. Was he loved? Will he be missed? Is there any unfinished business he left behind? Of course there is, a life cut short the way his was must have left lots of unfinished business. Lots of I love you’s that were never said, hugs that were never given.

I wish I had never known his story, I wish I could erase him from my mind that way I would not cry every time I think about him. I don’t even know the guy!

So back to the title of this entry. Where did all the innocence go? Many times I have debated within myself, is this hell? Because the world is such a terrible and cruel place. When I feel this way little things happen that make me believe that its not.

When a child is born they precious and innocent. How is it that this child turns into someone that can kill another human being?

Personally I like being naïve.

Thanksgiving

I know, I know, Thanksgiving is long gone. But I'm sure its never too late to say thanks, or to mention the few things, or many things, that you are thankful for.

The one thing I am thankful for is, this makes me feel like a first grader but, my mother. She is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me! Why? Because she will always love me no matter what! Without ever judging me, without ever holding grudges against me, unconditionally!

I know many people out there are thankful for their mothers but if they knew mine they would so be jealous of me. Not a lie! I don't know what I did to deserve her but I'm glad she was stuck with me. I know I don't say this enough but God how I love her!

One of my greatest fears of becoming a parent some day is not to be able to be half of the mother she is. Not to be able to love my own child like she loves hers. Because it just doesn't seem possible to be a better mother than she is.

I just hope God give me enough time to love her and show her how grateful I am to be her daughter.